Because life is too depressing.  Remember to think twice before you fart on a plane and use a lighter to get rid of the odour !

Flatulence leads US jet to divert (BBC News, 6 December)

An American airline plane made an emergency landing … after passengers reported the smell of sulphur from burning matches.  The matches were found on the seat of a woman who had attempted to conceal the odour of flatulence with the matches …

"Buzzing"

Praise the Lord !

Walking unassisted

We visited another church yesterday.  The pastor who had the same cancer as my dad ("had" because it is in remission, by the grace of God) was invited to speak at that church today, and he invited us to listen.

It was raining and we entered the church grounds through the rear entrance, umbrella, diaper bag, pram and a very grumpy Jed in tow.  And we were greeted by Christians too busy with breakfast to make an effort to clear the way for us to walk to the sanctuary, or to notice that we had problems locating the entrance to the sanctuary (OK, the latter is an unfair comment - admittedly I could have asked).

In some ways, it felt a bit like Joseph and Mary desperately looking for an inn where she could deliver the baby Jesus.  It also felt like Jesus entering the temple expecting to see a house of prayer but being greeted by a market instead.

Yes, I’m being very angstsy, petty, biased and unfair.

The church that we visited happens to be from the same denomination as my previous previous previous church (yes, it’s been that many … plus one more actually since I’ve been to four previous churches), and the latter is the church that my previous previous church broke away from.  I have bad memories of both churches.  Both had an amazing breakfast fellowship, and perhaps not much else.  (Incidentally my mother brought the leftover food from Jed’s birthday party to the previous previous church the next day - a not insubstantial amount - and those gluttons gobbled it up).

Heck, I think I’m sick of church generally.  That is how I truly feel since the schism.  This is even worse than how I felt in 2002.

I better understand now - better than in 2002 - why some people who have been attending church or Sunday school for years can suddenly in mid-life decide that they don’t want to set foot in a church again.  Why some Christians who burn passionately for Christ in their early years become but a flicker of their former selves as they grow older.

Somewhat ironically, for the past couple of years I’ve been encouraging several friends not to give up on church, because while I believe that our relationship with God must be personal, God intends for Christians to bless one another and others through His community.

I still do believe that.  But the spiritual promise is starting to sink under the weight of emotional reality. 

I very much long to tui chu jiang hu.    

A life without God.  Rising late on Sunday and having a leisurely breakfast with the family sounds like a nice change, instead of rushing to get to service on time, and instead of spending late nights preparing Bible studies, planning programmes, and following up with believers.

But alluring as that may be, a life without God is not one that is meaningful when measured against the length of eternity, and the loneliness of believing and living as if one’s destiny is determined solely by the skill of one’s hands is certainly not one that I would wish upon Jed.  As Peter so aptly put it in John 6 : 68, in a cry that reflects the very real desperation of the moment mingled with eternal truth -

Lord, to whom shall we go?  You have the words of eternal life.  We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.

And that, is the conclusion of the matter for now.

On repeat mode - Nothing Without You (Bebo Norman)

We rented a car today and drove out of the city (finding our way out of the city was a nightmare - it took us a good one hour to finally get onto the expressway), to the birthplace of Shakespeare, Stratford upon Avon.  Stratford was a welcome break from the London crowds.  Overall, we found the English countryside a lot more charming than the city.  Unfortunately the weather took a turn for the worse, and the skies were grey if it was not drizzling.