The relative that was unwilling to donate stem cells could not be persuaded otherwise.

Our remaining hope was a relative who worked overseas and who had not had his stem cells tested yet.  The church prayed and miraculously, his stem cells were also found to be a perfect match.

These few weeks have been tough.  My feelings have roller-coastered from depression, to hope, to depression again. 

Depression.  A couple of weeks ago, my Dad’s doctor assessed that his cancer was no longer responding well to chemotherapy and recommended more aggressive treatment, followed by a transplant of a matching donor’s stem cells.  My relatives went for testing.  We prayed for a matching donor amongst my Dad’s relatives. 

Hope.  There was one relative whose stem cells were a perfect match.

Depression.  Unfortunately that relative was not willing to donate his cells, because the extraction procedure (apheresis) could in his (and his doctor’s) opinion endanger his life due to his heart condition.

4 March 2004
A/Prof XXXX
Haematology Department

Dear A/Prof XXXX,

As you are aware, the [ relative ] of my father has been found to be a matching stem cell donor for my father’s treatment. 

However, he passed our family a written memo from his cardiologist, one Dr XXXX, yesterday (3 March 2004).  My mother would have passed the memo to you through one of your staff.  The memo states that he is “not fit from a cardiac standpoint to be a donor for BMT”.

I appreciate that he should not donate if a donation carries a high risk of harm to his health.  However, I am concerned that he or his cardiologist may not be fully aware of what the stem cell donation entails, ie. he may think it involves a bone marrow extraction (hence the reference to “BMT” in the memo), instead of an apheresis.  Hence, they may have the misconception that his heart condition will not be able to tolerate it.

In view of the above, I will be very grateful if you could evaluate Dr XXXX’s opinion and, if necessary, speak to him and / or my [ relative ], to see how my [ relative’s ] health concerns may be addressed.  Please let me know also if you have any resources (videos, articles, etc.) that I can pass to my [ relative ] to allay his fears regarding a donation.

In the unfortunate event that my [ relative ] is indeed unfit to make a donation, please let me know the alternative treatment available, and how my family might be able to assist you in this.  For example, at our meeting last week, you had said that cord blood or stem cells from non-siblings were some other alternatives.

I will also appreciate if you could withhold this bad news from my father at this point in time.  Perhaps it may be appropriate to tell him of my [ relative’s ] inability / unwillingness to donate after we have confirmed the cardiologist’s opinion ?

Once again, thank you for your time.  You may contact me at XXXX if necessary.

Yours faithfully