The apostle Paul was a fiery intellectual and no-nonsense go-getter. When the early Christians first got in his way, he had them arrested and executed. This included the execution of the Stephen (Acts 7). Then, after a life changing encounter with Jesus (Acts 9), he converts to Christianity, undertakes three missionary journeys in which he preaches and establishes numerous churches throughout the Roman empire, including the first church in Europe, at the city of Philippi. In the process, Paul writes half of the New Testament (13 out of 27 books), publicly rebukes with Peter (yes, the first "Pope" no less, in Galatians 2), and dumps a young protege (John Mark) and a friend (Barnabas) who wanted to give Mark a second chance, when Paul deems John Mark unreliable (Acts 15).
Strong-headed, ambitious, self-confident, impatient, disciplined, hot-tempered and intellectually brilliant, the apostle Paul was someone who would take control and take a bull by the horns, and someone not to be trifled with.
"Tender" is therefore the last word I would use to describe the apostle Paul. But on reading Paul’s letter to the church at Philippi (ie. Philippians) again recently, I notice - unusually perhaps - a tenderness to Paul’s tone. Unlike the harsher exhortations in epistles like Romans or Corinthians, parts of Philippians read to me like a deep sigh.
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Philippi, interestingly, was the city where Paul miraculously "escaped" from prison after an earthquake broke open all prison doors and chains (Acts 16).
At the time Paul wrote Philippians, Paul was again in prison (or possibly house arrest) for his faith, this time for anything above 4 years since his arrest in Jerusalem (Acts 21). If Paul was expecting another miracle to lead to his release from prison, it had not materialised. (In fact it never did, and Paul would be executed in Rome a few years later).
The man who once used to go wherever he wanted, do whatever he wanted, and preach to whoever he wanted, had his freedom frustratingly restrained.
Paul was also old. Probably above 50 by this time, his physical body was battered from the multiple times that he had been abused, beaten up, and imprisoned for his faith. Paul was no longer as young, strong or energetic as he once was.
In this backdrop, Paul is told that the church he helped establish in Philippi was not doing too well. The early excitement of the faith had faded. In the absence of strong leadership, disunity and materialism crept in. Paul’s long absence had caused some believers to doubt his sincerity. Other believers, discouraged by Paul’s imprisonment and the opposition from outside the church, questioned if God was in control.
It is in this context that Paul wrote with unsual tenderness to the church, the words which I have distilled below (amongst many others).
(1) Don’t Know
Have you ever heard someone say, out of frustration or depression, "I am so tired I feel like dying" ? Well, Paul the super-apostle says it here, though not in quite as negative a way.
"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two …". (Philippians 1 : 21, 21 - 23, emphasis mine).
In his letter, Paul exposes with unusual candour a vulnerable side of him, and says "I’m tired, and I don’t feel like living anymore". (The difference between Paul and a more typical depressed person, however, is that Paul is looking forward to an eternity of rest in Christ after death, whereas the typical depressed person may simply be seeking to escape from his current situation).
And just as we often feel that we are not in control of the situation around us, Paul goes on to admit that he is not as much in control of life as he would like to be. I want to visit all of you again, but I don’t know I will have a chance to. "Whatever happens [ to me ]", Paul writes in Philippians 1 : 27 as if he is about to die soon, keep pressing on.
(2) Don’t Know how to Quit You
In Philippians, Paul also affirms his love and friendship for the believers in Philippi. I have not forgotten and have not quit you, he says.
"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy … my brothers, you whom I love and long you, my joy and my crown …". (Philippians 1 : 3, 4 and 4 : 1).
And more importantly, Paul tells the believers that God has not forgotten and would never quit them.
I am confident of this, Paul writes, that God who began a good work in your life, and see it through until it is completed when Christ returns (Philippians 1 : 6).
(3) Don’t Look Back, Don’t Stop Loving and Don’t Give Up !
Especially at the turn of the year, it is typically human to look at the past — what has happened and what we have achieved (or not) — and find ourselves held back by past, no-longer-existing glories, or past, painful experiences, or past habits.
But Paul tells the believers at Philippi, now that you know Jesus Christ and have confidence in the future, don’t look back!
"Whatever [ in my past ] was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ … forgetting what is behind and straining to what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3 : 7, 13 and 14).
Because we have hope and encouragement in Jesus Christ, Paul also writes, continue to love one another, in the same way that Jesus loved you. (Philippians 2 : 1 - 11)
And because we can look forward to the transcedent, our "citizenship in heaven", Paul encourages us to press on.
"… I [ Paul ] press on to take hold of that which Christ Jesus took hold for me … forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus … join with others in following my example … and take note of those who live according to the pattern you gave you". (Philippians 3 : 12 - 17).
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It is currently the seventh day of 2012. The year is still young, but the future is uncertain given the economic crisis in Europe, the tensions in the Middle East and the Korean peninsula, and the upcoming elections in major world players such as the United States. We are not in any more control of our lives and future today, than the church was at the time Paul wrote his letter to the church at Philippi. But regardless of our present circumstances, regardless of our past (whether shameful or honourable), and regardless of the uncertain future, God promises that He will not give up on us, that the good work He has started in our lives, He will finish. With this confidence and hope, we press on, fulfilling hopefully our call as individual Christians and collectively to "shine like stars in the universe" (Philippians 4 : 15) in these hard times.