Sometimes I think, to our shame as Singaporeans, we treat our foreign domestic workers (or "maids") as modern day slaves.

Today I had a slight run in with a close relative - rare given that as a good Asian (boy) I try to be deferential to the feelings of my elders - who told me that she was upset with her maid who was unwilling to give up her off day next Sunday, and stay at home to help with the Chinese New Year reunion dinner preparations.

Relative : "Why can’t she stay at home ?  There is so much preparation to do for the dinner.  This only happens once a year."

Me : "She’s not Chinese.  You can’t expect her to understand how important this is to us."

Relative : "But she’s a maid you know.  How can she give me a black face when I ask ?"

Me : (Right, not only must maids obey your commands, they can’t have feelings) "She’s also human.  You must understand, she expects to have her usual Sunday off.  If you were her, you would also feel upset."

Relative : "This happens only once a year.  She’s a maid.  Why can’t she give in ?  Why must she give me a black face ?"

Me : "She’s also human.  If you want her to stay, you should at least offer some compensation."

The conversation ended with the relative saying that she couldn’t understand young people (me young ?  ha ha).

*** ***

This request / demand that a foreign domestic helper give up a Sunday off to help with the Chinese New Year reunion dinner preparations might not be abusive or unreasonable in a physical sense, but if it were one of us or one of our sons who had to stay in military camp over a weekend or the Chinese New Year to perform guard duty, how would we feel ?  We’d feel that that sucks, and we can be sure that that’s how a foreign domestic helper would feel too.

But neither the relative, nor anyone in the conversation, seemed to feel that way.

So to me the above conversation is symptomatic of how we (Singaporeans) have failed to place ourselves in the shoes of the foreign domestic helpers in our midst, to look at them as our equals as human persons.  Even if we don’t physically abuse them — and unfortunately many employers do, what we read in the news of employers being prosecuted for abuse are only the most egregious cases — we don’t treat them very differently from modern day slaves, expecting them to comply with our every directive, regardless of how unreasonable such demands may be.