I had the opportunity yesterday evening to grieve over my previous church.

Joyce and I had discussed with the family the possibility of taking legal action against someone from that church, over a dispute that he has with my father.  Nothing was decided.  And I had intended to speak to that someone first before taking any drastic action.

My sister, who is also from that church, foolishly (turncoat !), went and told a leader from that church that we were intending to sue the someone who is involved in the dispute with my father.  Who told someone else.  Who told someone else.  Who told someone else.  Who told a church elder.  Who finally told the somone who is involved in the dispute with my father.

Who called my mother.  And said that he wouldn’t be doing anything about it.

Who told my father about what the someone who called her said. And I haven’t even spoken to my father about the matter of taking legal action !

I’m grieved.  Partly because that leader who first heard it from my sister, and all the other church leaders whom the information was communicated to, did not have the sense to speak to me or my family to clarify if what they had heard was true.  Instead, like little girls gossiping at the kindergarten playground, they perpetuated the misinformation.  (Wisdom is not one of the virtues of my previous church).

Speaking to my former pastor from that church last night, I was surprised to learn that I had actually disclosed the details of this dispute to him when I left the church some three / four years ago.  I had told him that one of my reasons for leaving was the unwillingness of the church leadership to encourage such members to put their life and finances in order, and that the church in fact did the exact opposite by appointing such members as leaders !  I had actually forgotten about this.

Which brings me to the other reason for my grief.  Three to four years since the time I spoke to my former pastor, nothing has been done to put the church in order.  The dispute with my father is unresolved.  And the someone who is involved in the dispute with my father remains in a leadership position.